he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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