What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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