you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
