Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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