i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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