She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
