they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
