Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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