White coat. Heels.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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