god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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