I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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