HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
