I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we're making bets on your personal life
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
