can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
