I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you never un-have a 4some
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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