Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
A+ Viking dick
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
