The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
