Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
