; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
