I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
