You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
