a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The power of my boobs compel you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
