You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
