Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
