you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
