mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
