You really coming over, don't trick.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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