I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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