I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
