there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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