Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
