So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
