I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She bit a glass in half.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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