I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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