Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
