Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
where are my eyebrows?
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