dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The adults are the big ones right?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
