wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize