so that wasnt chicken after all
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
