Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
