K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
