farters have to be the big spoon...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
