so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
