During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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