I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
