WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
nutella sex= disaster
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
