How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
