To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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