grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
