I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
