sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
