Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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