??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
