Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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